PW, eat your heart out.

Please forgive the yellow,  blurry or overexposed photography.  I’ll do better next time, promise.

——

I adore the Pioneer Woman.  She is funny, smart, homeschools her punks with ease, and writes cookbooks in her spare time.  She’s also an integral part of her husband’s cattle ranch.  She swears they can’t do without her, or at least her doughnuts…  And she does all this while being amazingly gorgeous.

I want to be Ree when I grow up.  Minus the cows and eyeliner.

But, let me tell you something.

PW has nothin’ on us.

Yes, I know, the she has cows.  Heck, she even has wild horses.  But, I’m betting they’re not supporting any inter-species love affairs anytime soon.

Unless you count Charlie.  Then you have me there.

Last night we were witness to an Epic Love Drama.  This was one for the ages.  It slays Romeo & Juliet and blows Titanic out of the water.  These two souls brave the throes of love and the inevitable struggle that follows a marriage neither side of the family supported.

We’ll call them George & Crystal.

It all started out on a cold winter’s day.  Crystal is the daughter of a rich logging mogul.  George is the son of anti-establishment hippies, and a vegetarian to boot.  They were introduced by Laura, a well-meaning soul that thought they were perfect for each other.  She’s a bit of a hippie herself (and perhaps just downright weird).

It was love at first sight.  Crystal loved George’s generous personality and penchant for avocados.  George adored Crystal’s long legs and short hair.

‘After being found cuddling (that’s all folks, we’re PG here!) at Laura’s house, Crystal’s daddy performed a shotgun marriage.  And prayed that these vegetarians weren’t as bad as he feared.

When they first got married, Crystal & George went dancing every night.  They were your typical newlyweds:  cuddly, sweet, attached at the lips.

However, the stress of a mixed marriage got to them and, after being kicked out of one too many dance halls, began to fight.  Unfortunately for George, Crystal had been watching WWF wrestling (is that even around anymore?) while he was at work.  She…well, she kinda kicked his butt.

Okay, she didn’t.  He caught her by a leg and proceeded to give her what-for.  We’re all about tolerance and violence on this blog.

4, 3, 2, 1, PIN!

Last I heard they were still happily married and living in Disneyland, California.

That’s according to Laura, anyways.

——-

Please, Ree, don’t hate me.  I really do adore you and your 7-UP pound cake, too.  And my husband loved that cake so much that he wants it every birthday until he croaks.  So, no hard feelings?

For anyone who hasn’t heard of the Pioneer Woman phenomenon, she can be found at http://www.thepioneerwoman.com.  Go, read, adore.

Oh, and I have nothing against vegetarian hippies.  Just covering my bases here…

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